Melancholic diversity in a synthetic world filled with victims. Go and die young child, so you do not upset the boring narcissism, in a defeat by the screams, of what humans call life.

My brother passed away in a tragic car accident on March 5th 2002. Which means it soon is going to be exactly 10 years since it happened. It’s been a lot of sad moments, with lots of tears and heartache. But there has also been moments when I’ve been thinking about him, smiling. Because he was this crazy little boy with wicked ideas. Some of them stupid, and some of them absolutely crazy stupid.

He was my hero, role model and brother. Even if he most of the time was somewhat egocentric (which just happen to be something that I also got from my father), he could also be the most loving and caring person on earth.

He called himself King Johan. He was; King Johan. 

Tags: crown, king, kings crown, picture, tattoo

My last summer was one of the best summers I’ve ever had! I miss all my exchange student friends and I miss the most awesome time together with Kolby.

But things are good now and I hope I can visit most of them this summer! Germany, France and Switzerland! 

You can’t change who you are but you can change the way you look at things, your decisions.

I’m going to tell you something about myself now:

• I always regret my decisions
• I always feel bad about things I’ve done
• I always feel bad about the things I never did

This double life thing is not really working out for me. I have a full time job, work as a DJ and do promotions at clubs. I love to party and I try to go skiing at least 2 times every month. All of these things are things I enjoy and it’s hard to resist doing them all. Not because of the money, but because I really do enjoy  them all. The thing is that I’m going to start studying half time soon as well, how’s that to prioritize.

I have said it before and I’ll do it again: There will always be time in the future to do boring things, so lets just enjoy what is up right now.

I have been a little bit out of myself lately, but I think I might just be on track again. All the things that comes and goes every day. Work, friends, life, so and so. Since I got my apartment I have been both happy and sad, what really happened to the Jess that was going to be a successful actress, move to London and fight until there was nothing left to fight for? That’s only one of the questions I’ve been asking myself. 

Well, I’m DJing with my best friend, I have the best friends in the whole wide world and life is good. I just have to realize it a little bit more than I do today.

Even if I think that I’ll become a lot happier when I have been able to enjoy a few days on skis. Right now; 1 and counting.

It’s now 2012, I just turned 22, still look like 15.

Things that happened 2011:

• Started DJ-ing together with my best friend aka partner in crime
• First appearance on TV with lines
• Bought my first apartment
• Changed directions in life

Busy, chilling, forgetting, doing, learning, skiing, partying, working… And stuff.